Worrying. It’s something we all do. Whether it’s about school, work, relationships, or the future, our brains love to go down the rabbit hole.
The truth is, a little bit of worry can be helpful. It’s your mind’s way of saying, “Hey, pay attention!” But when it sticks around too long or gets too loud, it can start running the show. That’s when it gets in the way of sleep, focus, and just feeling okay.
Over time, we can get used to living in a constant state of tension. But chronic worry often shows up in your body, your mood, and your sleep.
Here are a few signs to watch for:
- Trouble falling asleep or waking up at 3am with racing thoughts
- Tension in your jaw, shoulders, or neck
- Snapping at people over small things
- Withdrawing, or needing endless scrolling to switch off
If any of this sounds familiar, try the ideas below. You don’t need to try them all. Just pick one or two to start. Look for small wins, like falling asleep more easily or handling a stressful moment without spiralling.
This is about progress, not perfection.
1. Ring-fence your “worry time”
It might sound strange, but giving your worries a regular time slot can help stop them from taking over.
Why? Because trying to “just stop” worrying rarely works and often backfires. Instead, give yourself permission to worry... just not all day.
Try this:
- Pick a 15-minute window each day. For example, 5.30pm at the kitchen table.
- When a worry pops up during the day, jot it down on your phone or a sticky note.
- When your worry time arrives, go through your list.
This trains your brain to park anxious thoughts instead of letting them hijack your whole day.
2. Notice the worry spiral
Worry tends to snowball. One small thought can quickly turn into a full-blown disaster movie in your head.
“I haven’t heard back from her.” → “She’s probably upset.” → “I must have said something wrong.” → “Now she’ll never talk to me again.”
Sound familiar?
This kind of spiralling is really common. It even has a name: catastrophising. It’s when your brain leaps straight to the worst-case scenario. The trick is learning to spot it before it takes over.
Try this:
Next time you catch yourself spiralling, gently say to yourself, “Okay, I’m worrying right now.”
That simple act of noticing can be a powerful first step.
3. Divide and conquer: action vs noise
Not all worries are created equal. Some are helpful. Others are just mental noise.
You might be dealing with:
- Things you can take action on
- Things you can’t control
Most of us mix these together, which only ramps up stress.
Try this:
- Write your worries down.
- Ask yourself, “Can I do something practical about this right now?”
- If yes, do one small thing.
- If no, try saying to yourself, “This is mental clutter. I’ll leave it for now.”
Worrying can feel like problem-solving, but often it just burns up energy without moving anything forward.
4. Move your body. Look after the basics
You’ve heard it before, but it’s true. Worry feels worse when you’re tired, run down, or haven’t moved in a while.
Worry feeds off low energy and high stress. So don’t underestimate the power of the basics.
Try this:
- Go for a walk, even just around the block
- Stretch or move your body however you like
- Eat regular meals
- Sleep as best you can
- Do things you enjoy. Even silly things count
You don’t need a full gym routine or a green smoothie habit. Just start small. Drawing, kicking a ball, dancing in your room, or listening to music can all give your brain the break it needs. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Just do something that helps you feel more like yourself.
5. Kōrero. Share the load
Worry often shrinks when you say it out loud.
You don’t have to carry everything on your own. Sometimes just saying, “I’m feeling a bit anxious today,” is enough to take the edge off.
Talk to someone you trust. A friend, a parent, a coach, a teacher. Letting someone in can make things feel lighter. And if your worries keep coming back, or they’re starting to affect your day-to-day life, talking to a counsellor can really help.
If you’re 25 or under, you can book free sessions with a registered mental health professional through Gumboot Friday. There’s no waiting list or referral. Just people who listen and who get it.
Final thoughts
You won’t completely stop worrying overnight. And that’s okay.
This isn’t about never feeling anxious again. It’s about learning how to spot it, understand it, and stop it from running your life.
Remember:
- You’re not weird. You’re human
- Everyone worries sometimes
- The goal isn’t to get rid of worry completely. It’s to stop it from taking over
Be kind to yourself. Start small. Celebrate any progress. And if you found these tips helpful, pass them on to someone else who might need them too.
If you believe in the work I Am Hope is doing through Gumboot Friday, you can help us keep it going. Spread the word, or support if you're in a position to.
Kia kaha. You’ve got this.
Need more support?
• Call or text 1737 any time to talk with a trained counsellor. It’s free.
• Visit gumbootfriday.org.nz to book free counselling sessions for young people aged 5 to 25 across Aotearoa.
